5th one!

Today, Greg woke up at 6 AM for his morning feeding, and Trav gave me a card and a new yoga mat from him and all the kids: Jay, Alee, and Greg. Parenting is still a bit of a fog for me at times, because I feel like it is not even real!!

Well, today has been harder than expected already. The sadness of all the trauma that goes along with me being a mother has clouded over me this morning. Everyone else has voiced their excitement for me this last week as it's "your first" Mother's Day. In my mind, I'm quick to say "no it's not." A few times this week, I voiced that it's my first Mother's Day with a live baby. Actually, it's my 5th Mother's Day and my 15th FurMother's Day. So many people forget or just plain don't recognize Mother's Day with perinatal loss.

My hope for all is that we give special love to those moms who've experienced perinatal loss and those moms who have lost a child at any age. 

God bless ALL mamas!!

My husband and more!

My husband...

-Makes me oatmeal every day--the real kind adding raisins, cinnamon and maple syrup, not instant stuff

-Says "have a good day" every day

-Makes my lunch on my workdays

-Brings Greg into me when there are nightly feedings

-Is the nighttime consoler for Greg

-Feeds our animals

-Fills my water bottle and puts my lunch, breast pump, yoga mat and yoga bag into my truck on work days

-Makes sure Greg's cloth diapers get laundered every other day

-Puts wood in our boiler 2-3 times daily

-Monitors and launders our yoga wear so we have clean stuff all week

-Reminds me to drink water all day long to help milk production

-Gets the mail every day

-Sometimes, he even puts on my shoes when I am feeding Greg in the morning before work :)

So, you're probably wondering what I do? I would say, everything else! Lol :) No, we really do a mix of chores and complement each other well with what we do. I just felt like lifting up what he does today!

And more...topics of our interest or that have come up recently that I feel like writing about. 

-We do not do baby monitors. 

-We are doing "Baby Led Weaning" with solid foods--no need to purée!

-We believe using natural instinct is best versus the terms "crying it out "or "attachment parenting" which are known as more of the extremes. 

-Elimination communication is so beneficial for babies and parents alike. We are still catching 4-10 potties on the potty chair daily. Grandma Carol even catches some!

-Greg is still swaddled at night and naptime, because he loves it. He also sleeps with multiple blankets rolled up on both sides of him--because it works!

-Rudy, our greyhound, continues to be an extremist when it comes to babysitting Greg. He howls whenever Greg bawls.  This is not fun!!

-Cloth diapers really are fantastic for the environment, and we recommend Best Bottoms brand!

Happy Holy Week! Remember Jesus on Easter ;) it's not just about the bunny and egg hunts!

Peace,

P

Lilies are coming up!

Folding clothes and eating dryer balls!

Sleeping on mom in the shower...awwww!

Me...

It's been a while!

Me...body, mind, spirit

My body!

-I fit into my jeans two months ago. I must weigh less than before Greg, because they are baggier by a few millimeters. Thank you Jesus for breast-feeding and healthy food choices!

-I have no idea how much I weigh.

-My skin is wrinkly all over my body and has lost a lot of elasticity. Greg will pinch my arms and my skin will raise up a few inches!

-Almost every single one of my nails has broken really low on my nailbed which is very painful.

-My poop finally became normal shortly after Mara died (so about 3 weeks ago), but last week it hardened up again due to very unfortunate issues.

-My skin is really dry for me. 

-How could I forget (I added this on the day after posting), I had a pinched nerve in my neck/shoulder area causing numbness and tingling in my left arm for four months!

My mind!

-I am working one less day per week to be at home more with Greg, and I am filled up with the thought of this.

-I now understand what it means when you want to eat up your child due to cuteness and love ;)  

-I am wondering what it means when I am listening to the book "When bad things happen to good people" on CD in my truck, and after the second CD my CD player will not eject it. Such irony!

My spirit!

-My spirits have been jostled around several times the last two months, and I often ask my spiritual director, Marci, if this is happening on purpose?

-Spirit dampeners: Mara's death, feeling ridiculed for pumping, losing trust for some people, forgetting my pump one day at work

-Spirit heighteners: being with Travis and Greg, yoga, having our moms babysit, seeing a huge eagle perched in a cornfield about 20 yards from the road one morning!

Still trying to understand God!!